Wanted: Instructional Diagram Artist for Collaborative Project

I gave Il MattO a high-five last night that was really satisfying in terms of contact and sound. Usually most high-fives seem to fail, due to either inadequate aim or too much of what I call the "skin slap" (the slapping that stings on the very surface of the epidermis and makes a very high-pitched sound). But when you get a good one, that moment becomes like a golden apple of coolness-knowledge, frozen in time, that you can just reach up and pluck from the Tree of Life and look at with fond remembrance of Good Times. A good high-five can give you the same feeling as listening to MF DOOM's "Rapp Snitch Knishes".
So why I need you, the Diagram Artist: let's make a brochure on proper "high-five" technique, complete with diagrams and also a list of occasions that are appropriate and inappropriate for high-fives. Actually let's not make that list, because that is snotty to do and around here, it is always a good time for a high-five. (Plus it would make a good follow-up or preface to the hardcover edition.) (If I had adsense with this blog, do you think there would be juice advertisements?)


No, YOU'RE random!

"You and I are on a journey, and language is both our coach and our impossible goal. Speaking the English language is like jumping a sports car through a gap in a quickly-passing train, only to find that on the other side is a table full of girls from the Clinique counter who get quiet and then call you 'random.'"
-Ray Smuckles

That is exactly what I had learned over the course of my degree.
I miss being in school.


Montreal (is where I went again)

I'm slow at this but...
I went to Montreal again, along with Matthew and Paul, to hang out with Becker. Mostly the things we did included eating and drinking and BOUSTAN (see The New Pollution for a visual representation of this magical place - I was far too full of flavour to manage a digital camera). I know nobody likes a happy blog, but this trip was incredibly fun and deeply needed. If we were Jason Schwartzman and John Ritter's son (plus two other guys), we could have called it "bro-ing down". But we're not, so instead, we'll just call it "hanging out in Montreal with the boys", which was something I really fucking needed.
Here are some pictures:
(In Montreal people are so nice that they'll offer to take your picture outside of Schwartz's, the best goddamn smoked meat anywhere)
(This is Becker on top of Mont Royal. Who says it's not a good idea to start climbing in the heavy snow without proper clothing, after stopping at the dép for some beer? And only two made it to the top...)(oh fuck, this is the worst proof ever - this is Montreal at night from the top of Mont Royal)
(the Adam Brown rocking out at Friendship Cove, in french that place is pronounced "le supercool")(and this is what Montreal thinks of me, and cocaine)
Umm, I guess that's all I have for right now.


I'm being stalked!

More on this later... (not really, no more details because then the stalker might know where I live or buy my shoes, things such as this)
Speaking of, how about this. I admire the intensity and commitment to the role, but the alley sex??? I would probably cry if she did this to me. If I was her friend and knew she was doing it, I would also cry, but out of joy.


Do you like to have your blah blahed?

After renting it twice, I finally watched Lenny last night...Hoffman was on, man, when he was doing Bruce. The set-up was sorta untraditional, faux-documentary style, actors playing Bruce's real-life mother, manager, and wife, speaking in character about Lenny after his death, mixed in with sections of his life acted out like in any other film, and contrasted with one of his later-life stand-up acts (I don't want to say routines for particular reasons, especially his focus on his court cases). The structure payed off in that it gave Hoffman a lot of time to reinact Bruce doing stand-up, but at the same time left a lot of his downward spiral in relative darkness. Watching Hoffman do Bruce as a verbatim reinactment of one heroin-ravaged, near-breakdown show that had been caught on tape by a college student was one of those slow-motion car accident scenes... I vow not to procrastinate on film-watching like that anymore.


Shot Burner...

...and bust shit at random;
like civil war muskets or ADD kids throwing tantrums...


Posting for the sake of posting

Holy shit this blog guilt is a potent thing. There it is, all staring me in the face. Fine, blog, I give in, here you go.
What's new? Oh, let's see...
More reviews for Stylus sent in plus the interview of Bunf from Super Furry Animals. Listening to the tape of the interview was shocking at first, until I realized that what I was hearing was not really the true timbre of my voice, and that, in fact, the tape had recorded at a slower speed than it was playing on the stereo in my room - feeble hold on masculinity retained for another day.
It has also snowed a lot in the last day. A lot.
Oh yes, I almost forgot, while I was at the dentist the other day I became obsessed with phenomenology. What is phenomenology?

phe·nom·e·nol·o·gy (fĭ-nŏm'ə-nŏl'ə-jē) pronunciation
  1. A philosophy or method of inquiry based on the premise that reality consists of objects and events as they are perceived or understood in human consciousness and not of anything independent of human consciousness.
  2. A movement based on this, originated about 1905 by Edmund Husserl.
phe·nom'e·no·log'i·cal (-nə-lŏj'ĭ-kəl) adj.
phe·nom'e·no·log'i·cal·ly adv.
phe·nom'e·nol'o·gist n.

You know what? I really need to read up on it more (also on the Common Sense current of philosophy, which Jason had recommended).
Phenomenology as it interests me specifically - Shepard Fairey's Obey Giant project, and Denny's pile of stones in Chuck Palahniuk's Choke.


What's Up Paris?

What does it mean about Paris that their graffiti is digitized?
I never, in my wildest dreams, imagined that Duck Hunt would be big in France.



So blogger.com has taught me a lesson. A lesson about using colours and different font sizes. Or, more accurately, about not using colours and different font sizes. You know why? Because that shit doesn't fly around here.
But I thought about it, blogger.com, and I decided that the heart of the problem, well, it lies squarely with you. Yeah, that's right - not me, it's you, pal. You come on strong with all your "user-friendly" interface. "Oh yes, people, come to me! Flock to me, my children, and I will let you use five different font sizes and a small rainbow of colours to fully articulate all of your self-centered, in-joke-reliant petty observations about our world!" Such an attractive idea, how could we resist?
Oh, I fell for that song and dance, and I fell hard. Hard! I was tentative at first, a bit shy, blushing as I first used the italics here, maybe made bold a phrase there. It was innocent; we were just playing around. Then things got serious and I sometimes added some colour in! My orange thoughts could now actually be orange! When I was feeling blue, so were my pathetic, self-reflexive words! It was like having some strange new super power! (But way smaller and far less useful!)
But then something happened - I lost control. You let me think I was guiding my own blog destiny, blogging the way I wanted to. But really it was your way all along. I couldn't turn it off. Can you imagine the shame, blogger.com, of clicking on your "handy" (please understand that I meant "handy" with extreme sarcasm) italics or bold button, and seeing, seeing with your own eyes that the button was no off, but still your words were in italics?!? Even worse was the time I'd attempted to use the huge font for the first letter of a post, sort of like those old-tyme storybooks, thinking Maybe we can have some fun with this thing. But you fucked me, blogger.com, and good...IT ALL CAME OUT HUGE! What if someone had actually visited that page, man?!? I know no one did, because that's blogging and I can accept that, but it could have happened by accident! What would they have thought of me?!? God, I can't believe I trusted you!
I'll keep posting. But not because I feel comfortable. I'll do it, on my terms, because I'm not a quitter (unless you count volunteering, silkscreening, cataloguing my magazines, learning the guitar, exercising, studying the French language, etc...). But if you keep messing me around, man, you will be so sorry, because I will watch Pump Up the Volume and get so in to it that I will BLOG HARD!


blogger ate my post up

Maybe it was the leftover Halloween spirit, or my complicated usage of font sizes, italics, and colours. But for whatever reason there may be, blogger has eaten my last post. I will do it later, old school style ("old school style" does not mean anything).

There was a girl at our show who danced like nutz and looked like Arthur from Degrassi (and she was kicked out)

SO we played last night at the Collective. Thanks very much to those who came, and to those who didn't, GYPSY CURSE. To those who bought our EP (plug: AVAILABLE NOW, visit our myspace for more information or for some kind of ordering), double super thanks. To the fat fuck at the back door when it was time to load up, talking about seeing wikkked metal guitarists in concert, shut your stupid douche-face mouth, asshole - I could smell his fat bitchness just as animals sense bad thoughts in people, at least in movies.
Space Amazon and the Warrior Queens sounded good, I finally got to see them, despite Glenn's attempted
sabotage. And We Are Wolves!!! Fucking great! Check them out - - - sort of like Liars and Deerhoof fucking in reverb (what does that mean?!?). To those three or so people I know in bigger cities like Montreal or Toronto, go see them, seethemseethemseethemseethem. Really nice guys with aspirations to play smaller, PA-equipped venues.



Halloween is a special time of year for most of us, whether you be pretending to be in high school and still trick-or-treating or just turning off the lights and lying on the floor until the greedy, mealy-mouthed urchins stop shouting for candy! more candy! with their piercing wails...
Anyways, that doesn't take all that long and you should be done around 9-ish. What to do then? It's a Monday night, you've already worn that costume to a party on the weekend, it's broken in and still smells okay, the chocolate and drink stains or whatever they are aren't too noticeable in dim light. But what can you possibly do to celebrate All Hallow's Eve?
Luckily I have an answer for you:
DADADADA:Lazers are playing at the Collective Cabaret!
We're opening for Montreal electro-punk trio We Are Wolves along with Space Amazon!
Check out the links on myspace.com to listen to them or us, and then ask Il Matto what bands who recorded between '77 and '94 we all sound like! And then come to the goddamn evil show!
Oct. 31st, Collective Cabaret, 1st band at 10pm, $5 with costume, $7 otherwise. And watch for our post-post-humous EP, to be released soon!


What's happening? (I keep my dreadlocks in a napkin ring, rap and sing, unlike the homogenous clones I'm in to earth tones, birthstones and erogen...)

In the language of my head, certain key words or phrases will immediately cause one of the underdeveloped parts of my brain to chime in with lyrics to rap songs...This one comes courtesay of MC Paul Barman's appearance on the Deltron 3030 album.
Speaking of albums, I got some nice ones from Sarah & Stylus magazine... This bi-month's windfall includes treats like the Chromeo mix, Nada Surf (though someone else might be reviewing it for the magazine), the Rubber Soul tribute - This Bird Has Flown - featuring the Fiery Furnaces, Ted Leo, Sufjan Stevens (I'm not a huge Beatles fan, but, you know how it is...), as well as Danger Doom!, the new Wu Tang comp: Think Diffently Music, and Felt's 2: A Tribute to Lisa Bonet (I had no idea this existed until I pulled it out of an unmarked envelope - meeting-attending suckas missed out on this one).
Music has been good lately, what with the Arcade Fire / Wolf Parade show, the Metric visit, finding the URGH! record, Tangiers / Deadly Snakes playing tonight, a-a-a-a-n-n-n-d-d-d DADADADA:Lazers opening for We Are Wolves on Halloween at the Collective - come and check us out, imaginary people who read my blog! We even have a new song that we're stoked about and my dumb fingers won't be able to handle quite yet by the 31st. But whatever, man, don't sweat it - it's fucking rock'n'roll.


Separated at birth?

If I am seen in the reflection of the windows of the Scotia Bank at Polo Park with the right light and while I am biting my bottom lip, I look like a white Kanye West.



So let's see, what's new...
Best Value Village record find ever last week: URGH! A Music War the record. Seems that someone made a film that was concert footage of a bunch of new wave and post-punk bands in 1981, and I've never ever heard of the motherfucker. VV was too slow on the update with this record to mark it up to $10 like they love to do, so I got it for the flat rate. I'm going to type out the tracklist because my fingers need a workout:
Side 1:
Driven to Tears - The Police
Back In Flesh - Wall of Voodoo
Dance - Toyah Wilcox
Enola Gay - Orchestral Manoeuvers in the Dark
Ain't This The Life - Oingo Boingo
Respectable Street - XTC;
Side 2:
Offshore Banking Business - The Members
We Got The Beat - Go-Go's
Total Eclipse - Klaus Nomi
Where's Captain Kirk - Athletico Spizz '80
Nothing Means Nothing Anymore - Alley Cats
Foolish I Know - Jools Holland
Ku Klu Klan - Steel Pulse;
Side 3:
Uncontrollable Urge - Devo
The Puppet - Echo and the Bunnymen
Come Again - The Au Pairs
Tear It Up - the Cramps
Bad Reputation - Joan Jett & the Blackhearts
Birdies - Pere Ubu
Down in the Park - Gary Numan;
Side 4:
Shadow Line - the Fleshtones
He'd Send in the Army - Gang of Four
Cheryl's Going Home - John Otway
Homicide - 999
Beyond and Back - X
Model Worker - Magazine
Sign of the Cross - Skafish.
Somebody help me out - what movie has someone making fun of Klaus Nomi by saying his name a couple of times?
I saw A History of Violence last weekend and loved it. Cronenberg loves fluids and misshapen human bodies so much. The framing of the shots during the film's violence was masterful, the kind of on-screen action where you really viscerally feel like you're the film's protagonist right then. Viggo's restraint as Tom Stall was awesome, and I won't say anything more about that lest I give away important plot points.
Also saw Thumbsucker. Fuck was highschool ever an awkward time. Mike Mills has a great eye, evidenced by all his graphic art work, and the poster for the film is fucking boss. Lou Taylor Pucci seems like a pretty cool kid; one review I read mentioned his awkward-yet-cool charm as being like a young Johnny Depp - hella apt, baby, hella apt. I want one of those X-ed out wolf pictures. Will thumbsucking be the next slap bracelet? Nope. It will be power animals.
And then we played Cuntfest at the Albert Friday night. Alright time, I guess, but the sound was off and so was our timing. Conrad is back in town for the week and sang with us, and that was fun and brought back tender memories of old times.
Gin martinis seem to be the things to drink lately. But drinking straight gin without olives seems to fuck up your head. Oh when, science, when will you tell us why this is?
Also, why can't I turn italics off?


Last Nite

Last night we did not play any Strokes covers. However, we did play at the Albert, opening for You Say Party! We Say Die!, who fucking rocked. They all had excellent stage presence and were total wild women and men, especially the vocalist and the bass player, who wisely tested the strength of the sprinkler system pipe before actually swinging from it. I bet he woulda too, had it not been as flimsy as a tinker toy set. Singer Becky started off in the audience, which always deserves extra props - I wish the two regulars who sat front and centre, John Leguizamo II and the Caveman, had a blog so I could link and show what they thought about the show, but if they use computers, they probably hold it down Apple IIe or Comodore 64 style - and was in and out. The crowd was in to it too, to paraphrase MF Doom YSP!WSD! had the fans breakdancing in the stands. If and when they come back, I will definitely be there.
And tonight we try our luck at the New Forms Festival fundraiser (formal, please). Cha cha chachacha.



Okay, I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but things have been busy + I have been lazy.
Here is the new pertinent information:
1. I am compiling a Rolodex. If you happen to have randomly happened upon this blog of mine and would like to be in my Rolodex (don't worry - like a neglectful child, I rarely call or write and never visit), please feel free to leave a comment with your Rolodex-card-type of information. After committing that information to the card, I will take a picture of said card and e-mail the photo to you, electronically;
2. The Arcade Fire show (09.30.05 at the Walker Theatre, Winnipeg) was mind-blowingly amazingly supercool. I like that you can tell those guys are basically university music dorks who just play so fucking hard. It really was one of the best shows I've ever seen (even if the "Queen Bitch" cover wasn't as good as Bowie, don't tell them, and it's not their fault because that song is almost perfect);
3. Last night's Black Mountain (shitty link, I know) was also radical, moreso them than the openers - I ain't got no time for country. I had no idea it was 2 am when they finally stopped - songs on the album are long, but they e-x-t-e-n-d them live, to fucking rawk effect. Beautifully heavy, druggy sound...;
4. DADADADA:Lazers will be opening for BC's YouSayParty!WeSayDie! at the Royal Albert Arms on Thursday, Oct. 6th. It's a last minute thing;
and finally;
5. This Friday, we'll be playing at the New Forms Festival, check my cut'n'paste from the e-mail:

You are formally invited to the. . .




TICKETS ONLY $10 buy them in advance!!!

With hosts Glenn Hall and John Bevan, featuring performances by poor tree, Young Lungs, My Old Lady, DJ Rob Vilar, DADADADA:lazers, Mime with Real Objects and film by Coral Aiken and Mike Maryniuk.

doors at 8pm show starts at 9pm

Put on your fanciest fall formal fashions, buy your ticket and come out to support this great festival celebrating movement in theatre and dance.

FOR MORE INFORMATION CALL 783.6912 OR EMAIL new_forms_festival@hotmail.com or me coral.aiken@gmail.com
The New Forms Festival will be happening November 23 - 26 at WCD Studio and feature new creations by local favorites Young Lungs and Coral Aiken as well as guests NaCl from New York State ( former members of Primus Theatre perform in Winnipeg for the first time since the demise of that company! experimental theatre legends!)
Feel free to forward this formal invitation to the fall formal to your finest friends (and foes).


Hotel de la Montagne

Boy oh boy was our hotel in Montreal ever nice. Despite the pain of being reminded that I never go anywhere nice, Hotel de la Montagne was amazing. The bathroom was cavernous - 2 sinks, one of those concave mirrors to magnify one's blemishes, a full-body mirror, a scale, a heat lamp, 1 shower + 1 bath (separate), and the toilet, out of view of the door, had a phone next to it. "Hello, I'm just thinking here, but you gotta sell sell sell!!! Get rid of everything!"
Here is the nightime view of Crescent St. from our balcony:
(I tricked the slow shutter speed + camera shake by holding the camera down on the railing - Mandy would be proud)
The Montreal leg of our trip was so great, so relaxing, and so drunk-getting. Becker and Joanne were gracious enough to let us stay with them for a couple of nights. Their apartment is pretty sweet, but even though it would be a lie to say that you could have two roommates live there if they weren't a couple, or in to watching each other sleep. Here is a picture of their kitchen:We went here:
It's a fucking Montreal institution! It's so nice that we went twice! We also went twice to Saint Viateur Bagel, but I think Heidi has the pictures of that. We also did a lot of this:
So I'd love to move to Montreal. I'll start a charity in order to raise the funds. If you or anyone you know has a couple thousand dollars just kicking around, just gathering dust, and would like to donate it to this cause, please contact me at this blog. Thank you very much.
(We also had $8 pitchers and hung out with Conrad and climb the mountain/hill!)


It's a new regime

Sadly, all the new regime consists of is me trying to organize my insane magazine habit (obsessive-compulsive disorder?) with those faux-woodgrain cardboard magazine holders and putting magazines from the last 3 years in bankers' boxes.
Oh yes, I'm also trying to vary my work-playlist. No more Belle & Sebastian all day long. Right now it's a hip hop playlist w/ "Jive Talk" by Juggaknots.
And I'm also drinking V8 at breakfast. This new habit will probably end today as I drank the last of the bottle. I sure do like V8.
New song - "Riddim Killah" by Rodney P off the Herbal Blend mix courtesy of the Herbaliser.
I promise I'll get some of them pictures on here soon. At least the night view from the balcony of Hotel de la Montagne, because I like the quality of the light.


This is me at Hello Cyber Cafe

For some reason the Alt + whatever is not working and I cannot get the proper E on Cafe. I am at a cyber cafe on Queen St. W. in T.O. and there are far less kids playing some massive multi-player online game here than in the last cyber cafe I was in (this was in Calgary and two years ago as I do not frequent them very much, despite what popular opinion might believe). The trip has been highly radikal. More later.



I am going on a trip for something like 10 days - I haven't counted yet, though I probably should as that would establish the right amount of socks and underwear to pack.
Don't fret - because I am such a lazy blogger it will be like I was never gone. I promise to bring back a picture or two, probably.


The Best Cake Ever

This was Jill's birthday cake. Heidi and I had to order it all special from a kosher bakery. Then she wouldn't eat the tip. Geez.


Today's Favorite Lyric

...as brought to you by Belle & Sebastian:
"I put my arm around her waist;
She put me on the ground with judo."
That's from "This Is Just a Modern Rock Song". Today I am strictly iPoding the B&S while I paint things a colour named "Champagne Lilac". Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhfffffuuuuucccccckkkkkk do I miss school.


if i was reading this i would feel ripped off

Apparently I'm too good for blogging lately.
No insound order yet;
DDDD:L recorded all day yesterday - the key to an instant classic is to overdub handclaps a million fucking times;
Got a new volunteer gig reviewing albums for Stylus mag;
I like tofu with grilled vegetables;
Listening to MF Doom: "Operation: Doomsday" right now;
Bought a camera - Mamiya/Sekor 1000TL;
Conrad gave me a tie yesterday;
You can order cakes shaped like dinks from Gunn's;
Both "Broken Flowers" and "Me and You and Everyone We Know" make me want to make that french gesture, what with the multi-fingertip kissing and the "magnifique!" and everything;
and I feel really bad for my friends who are dealing with cancer in their families and I wish them both the best, families and friends as well.


Lazers Redux

DADADADA:Lazers will be meeting again in order to cut an EP before Conrad leaves for Montreal and the life of a librarian. Practice tonight, some time next week, and recording next weekend. Maybe a farewell basement show, who knows? The sky is the limit.

I'm reading The Postman Always Rings Twice today...halfway through already. Riveting. Writing is so succinct. I wanted to write like that. I wrote like that.


I'm trying to be less lazy

I've been pretty lazy lately. So I've been trying to do more. Yesterday I ironed on some patches to two pairs of pants. I am not ready to move up to sewing as that requires too much effort. Right now I am watching a movie, making a tape, and blogging at the same time.
That's pretty good, innit?
Obsessions lately:
"Stars of Track and Field" by Belle and Sebastian;
getting Arcade Fire tickets;
circles moving in circles.
Found this a couple of months ago:

Found this today:


and I'm leaning on this broken fence between past and present tense...

However did "Left and Leaving" by the Weakerthans end up on the credits of The Wedding Crashers?


Pere Ubu Knows, Child

If you ever have a girl or boy and she or he tells you that you can "live in the empty spaces of this life", hold on tight and never let go. Also if they look like they are channeling the heroin-using spirit of Lou Reed when they wear a leather jacket, they're the one.
I'm sorry but all of my blogging from here on out will be directly influenced by whatever my iPod is playing for me. Probably the best non-breathing companion in the whole world would be a Sony Aibo with an iPod taped to it. Until they make either one of them with gills (scientists estimate that this will be happening by November of next year).
I am going to the lake this weekend to show Simon and his wife how to work everything so they can use the cottage for the rest of the weekend. I haven't been down since the weekend Dad died. I know we've grown close, blog, but I doubt I will share any feelings with you about it in any depth. It seems that I'm pretty closely guarded when it comes to my emotions, always but especially lately (unless I see that episode of Fresh Prince where Ben Vereen plays Will's dad Lou, you know, at the end where Lou is leaving and asks Uncle Phil to tell Will that he can't come on the road with him after Will is all excited about it, and Will acts like he doesn't care to Lou until Lou leaves, and then Will starts yelling about how he never needed him and how he taught himself to play basketball and got himself in to college and how he'll have kids and be a better father than Lou ever could, and then he turns to Uncle Phil and breaks down and says "Why don't he want me, man?" and they hug while Will cries - that scene [check no. 97 - Papa's Got a Brand New Excuse"] and Six Degrees of Separation almost redeem Will Smith, if you have a time machine). If you were an Aibo with an iPod, or maybe a QRIO with a ghettoblaster, then I might share. Sorry.


But you can't zoom in on Israel...

I found the best thing today. It's not really news; many other people knew about it before, but that doesn't matter because it is so much fun! It's the maps.google.com site! It's crazy! Satellite images of everything. Well everything except for Israel. But I found my cottage, I found my house, I found the U of W, Mount Rushmore...

I also picked up the new Wired magazine because William Gibson is inside in one form or another. I haven't gotten there yet, but I did learn that Adidas now has shoes with a motor inside. A. Motor. Inside. The. Shoe.

Is this the coming of Blade Runner, Neuromancer, or Get Smart?


What's up with...hangovers?

Rum + beers + beers + comic-inspired art + beers = getting sick. Sick but not krunk.

Oh, this hangover!
How I want some salty food!
(and also to puke)


MixTape Masters 9000

I have another idea I'm likely too lazy to implement. It's a collaborative mixtape.
See, how it would work would be someone would get a blank 90 minute audio tape and they would tape a song on to the beginning of Side A. Then they'd package the tape up, maybe with a story about that song, an explanation of why they chose it, a picture, whatever, and then they send it to someone else in the mail. That person listens to the song and then chooses another song to follow, tapes it, packs it up with whatever, and mails it on, and so on...
People might try to build on the momentum of the preceeding songs or to just chop that up. They might think really long and hard about which song to pick or they might not. Whatever, doesn't matter, I am and I'm not really concerned with that. The tape could be amazing or it could end up sucking, but it's being part of the process that would be the most fun. I mean, who doesn't like to get mail?

p.s. Wouldn't it be great if people made more music videos for anything, like guerrilla music videos for songs they really like, not to sell the albums but just to have fun? And then also they didn't get sued? I guess people probably DO do this all the time, but I wish there was a forum that I knew about where I could watch these things.


Randolph Wayne Dorey

I haven't posted since before my dad passed away. I haven't really had anything to post about.
It's funny in that horribly unfunny way how all the interest, the flavour is just sucked out of life after. Regaining balance is a bitch. It happens in little starts and stops, little spurts, jags of mending, fixing, repairing, cleaning, archiving...
I miss him a lot. His constancy, his sense of humour, his reliability, his presence, his morality, all those ways he showed his love.
So writing this is another one of those hurdles to get over afterwards, one more of those "I haven't done this since before..." instances. But I do it because I think he would want me to, and I do it knowing that it's not a way to put him further behind where I am now but instead a way to remember him more, to bring him with me as I keep going.
I love you, Dad.


A List

The problem with me is that I like to come up with good ideas about things that I should do but then never get around to doing them. Therefore I will make a list as a short monument to the things which I should do soon:
1. Pick a date for and write rules and invitations for the Society for the Historical Reinactment of Stand-Up Comedy;
2. Write an e-mail about my pants with a hole in them to the head office;
3. Make a mix tape which has side A being original songs and side B being remixes/covers (this will be very tricky as the remixes are rarely if ever the same length);
4. Trim my hair;
5. Find out where I can buy some silkscreen paint;
6. Make the "blood" hand silkscreen template;
7. Take a picture of the special thing I found the other day and post it;
8. Rework the last screenplay;
9. Edit my last History of Film paper and drop it off at school;
10. Find my black notebook;
11. Delete the duplicate songs off iTunes;
12. Make some good playlists.
Alright Ramblers, let's get rambling.


I got things! or "I am a materialist whore"

On Friday I got an iPod in the mail! Yay!
Today I got an iTrip and a dock for an iPod in the mail! Yay!
On Friday I found something super rad at Value Village...but I'm not going to tell you what it is; I will show you in a while after I take its wonderful picture.



Eagerly anticipating the delivery of my iPod, I quickly set about transfering my music library from Windows Media Player to iTunes. Unbeknownst to me I left the transfer speed set at "How Fast Redwood Forests Turn in to Petrified Wood, Which is Still One of Those Things Most of Us Don't Understand". Started: 07:42:56 a.m. 06.09.05 with !!!. As of 16:49:53 p.m. 06.09.05 we were up to Hot Hot Heat. 07:33:06 a.m. 06.10.05 we were getting some Beggar's Banquet action courtesy of some unleathery Stones (the Rolling, now-$400-ticket-and-so-leathery ones). Goddammit it takes so long!
I am also convinced that FedEx hides in the bushes and watches me leave my house. Why? So that they can leave doorknob hangers on my door telling me they had been by to deliver the iPod. TWO DAYS IN A ROW they "attempted delivery" within 7 minutes of me leaving my house!
(also it is important to note that the iPod has been in Winnipeg in the evil clutches of FedEx for as long as it took to travel from SHANGHAI to ANCHORAGE, AK and then to MEMPHIS, TN where I wouldn't be surprised if FedEx loaded it up with rock-country
[blog terminated by admin. due to excessive vomiting brought on by thinking about "rock-country"]


The Society for the Historical Reinactment of Classic Stand-Up Comedy

Heidi and I came up with this idea the other night:
It will be so great you don't even understand. People will choose a comedian and a routine, memorize it (or work from a paper if they have to), get the cadence down, the speed of the delivery, the pauses, the attitude. We'll set up a cabaret-style stage w/ tables, and then get up and deliver the routines! It will be so good! Classic Woody Allen, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, the Unknown Comic, George Burns, Mel Brooks, Joan Rivers, Roseanne, Seinfeld, Eddie Murphy, George Carlin, Bill Cosby, Paula Poundstone, Carrot Top, Ellen Degeneres... I know some of them would probably suck terribly (I'm looking at you Carrot Top you pumped-up, facelift, 1-800-F-R-E-A-K), but they can still be funny in parody. This is such a hot idea! It's going to be rad! I need to draw up a charter and figure out some logistics as well as a list of possible members, and then start memorizing some Lenny Bruce routines - I get first dibs for coming up with the idea.


I Bought Some Albums at Lunch

Today I bought some albums at lunch. They are: the White Stripes "Get Behind Me Satan" and the Go! Team "Thunder, Lightning, Strike".
I was worried, had some trepidation, brethren and sistren, about tha Stripez' new album on account of the Loretta Lynn influence ( + Rene too) on Jack White - it's not like these ladies are bad, in fact they are both very good at what they do, but I'm not so sure that I want what they do influencing how a rock band I like rocks out. Anyhow my fears have been alleviated as the disc sounds very nice indeed - a similar backward-looking aesthetic as with the latest from the Raveonettes, though the two don't really sound alike so much as feel alike.
And the Go! Team, man, lemme tell you about them - I'd read a lot about them sounding like Seasame Street but better, with a lot of Ennio Morricone, and then hip hop. That seems like an apt comparison. It really sounds like Belle & Sebastian locked Fannypack in a closet in the recording studio while they took breaks from making the happier part of the Storytelling soundtrack to make a demo to send to Damon Albarn in order to audition for the next Gorrillaz album (they didn't make the cut though).


Photohosting is beyond me

Man that looks really lame where I posted that picture of myself. I was just trying to figure out how to get my profile picture up, honest. (I am so lame)

New Wave Pretension Posted by Hello

It's in the mail

I bought an iPod yesterday morning online (it's probably not actually in the mail yet).
Now I have to organize my playlists + not buy any more music for months so I can pay it off. Fuck.


My Plan for Listening Today

Here is today's listening itinerary for the warehouse:
1. Led Zeppelin - S/T
2. Tangiers - Hot New Spirits
3. Buzzcocks - Singles - Going Steady
4. The Hives - Veni Vidi Vicious
5. Led Zeppelin - III
6. Iggy Pop - Sister Midnight
7. the Strokes - Room on Fire
8. Black Mountain
9. Mando Diao - Bring 'Em In
10. DFA Compilation #2 - Disc 3
11. Rancid - Out Come the Wolves
12. Raveonettes - Whip It On
13. Led Zeppelin - IV

also, I'm so close to buying an i-pod. If you buy from Apple directly you get free ingraving on the back... POSSIBILITIES...


And the rest of the story is...

So Pembina VV (Value Village, not of the Kills) was next. Found a Woody Allen biography - Matthew found another copy of the same one - Woody Allen: A biography by Eric Lax (an Allen friend) a checked button-up with epaulets, and two good shot glasses.
Regent had less to offer - ended up with another Allen biography - The Unruly Life of Woody Allen by Marion Meade (not a friend - this one promises to be a much more scathing look at Mr. Konigsberg), and a Scribner's Library reprint of Gatsby.
We made it to the Jefferson store with 15 minutes to spare, but it had been shopped out, and a spanish-speaking mother and daughter pair kept cock-blocking me in all the men's shirt aisles. So I found nothing worth buying. But who's surprised that the Maples was a disappointment? That's right, the Maples, deal with it.


One Down...

So far, after visiting the St. James Value Village I have acquired a long-sleeve grey/blue Calvin Klein t-shirt (I will soon look like hot early 90's jailbait in Terry Richardson ads), a $0.35 copy of William Faulkner's The Sound and the Fury, and a blue oversized labcoat screenprinted with New Wave and early 80's punk images.
Note: it smelled strongly of farts near the sporting goods section.
Seen: a Hutterite boy at the men's shoe section who was the spitting image of the young Alvy Singer in Annie Hall.


It's been a long time since I blogged at ya...

Today is Value Village's 50% Day and I'm planning on hitting up all 4 stores today: St. James to Pembina to Regent to Jefferson.

I'll let you know how it goes. Matthew may be joining me for the last 3.


Pilky, Futura, and the Two-Singers

Yo, check this out:
It's a many-headed hydra of visual enjoyment and subtle/hidden links, featuring contributions by a number of Winnipeg visual artists...
Reminds me of the ol' Futura 2000 labryinth.
Also, could Mando Diao be any better? How about the two-singer verse-and-chorus split on "God Knows"? It's so good that even my Russian-Argentine friend Simon wants a copy...
And... wedge-esque is an excellent blog, thanks New Polluter for the passive heads-up (or did you specifically tell me to go?).


Still In Love Song

4 years of dating today! Whatever happened to people who would just date for a long time? Marriage is for suckers - ask Ray Smuckles (note: this does not all apply to me, only the part about other people being tools).
Know which song is a good song? Still In Love Song. I know I'm way late in championing it. So what? And yeah, I didn't like the Stills when I first listened to them on their website. I'm fine with that, why can't you deal with it? I was writing a medieval paper at the time, so give me a break, alright? (also it is important to note that "Modern Girls & Old Fashion Men" by the Strokes feat. Regina Spektor is also a great song to listen to)


mix tapes

I have this idea for a collective art project. It involves the making of mix tapes based on different themes/ideas, i.e. songs with titles that are named after women or songs that start with "I" or song from 1978 etc., and also have arty cases. Actually there are two ideas:

1. Somehow establish a network of people and trade mix tapes within that network. (This idea is newer)
2. Leave the tapes in public places hoping that someone will pick it up and listen to it.

The second idea involves more chance, and a high likelyhood that your tape will get smashed or thrown in the garbage. But there could be a blog for the project, and operatives in different cities, and the tapes wouldn't have tracklists with them, but if you found the blog you could look up all the information the maker wanted to put with the tape, including motivations for picking each song and what albums they came from or how they got in to that band etc.

I'll have to think about it more.


I Fucking Saw Star Wars Episode III

Last night, 12:01 a.m., REVENGE OF THE SITH. Matthew got the tickets - he's good people.
Dialogue - wooden
Spaceships - CGI has finally evolved to the point where I can't tell if things are tiny models or computer generated images (this is oddly satisfying)
Anakin burning - wow, that was good
Fans - greasy/frighteningly lame (as expected)
There was closure and it was good.
Seen up close Samuel L. Jackson is a scary-looking man. Don't ever date his daughters because he would probably ask you questions about your intentions with his scary head up close to yours and you would not be able to concentrate for the rest of the date.
Hayden Christensen - he was watchable this time. Shattered Glass done him real good, actorly-wise.
Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid- they were the best at actually acting in this film.


T-shirts + Animals + The Fader

You know those gym shirts that you see in movies sometimes, maybe even remember from highschool? The ones that say the name of the school and "Phys. Ed." and have that line for the owner to write their name with a marker? Well I was thinking about making a t-shirt that says: 'What's the deal with..." and it has a line where you can write whatever it is that you just don't get.
If I were to make one now it would say: "What's the deal with...stuffed animals in your car?" When I see that I know to expect a driving style similar to that of a giddy child high on Orange Crush who also has to pee but can't press hard enough on the gas to drive more than ten kilometers per hour under the speed limit. I can only imagine the inane places these people are headed. Probably some place like Giant Tiger or a craft sale.
The Fader has a feature on Miles Davis this month. It's a good read. But why do I care what (pseudo-) celebrities think about Miles? The best part is the second hand account of Miles answering the door naked, with a boner and a gun, saying "What you want?!? What you want?!?" and this was to a friend of his. Also check out the size of his pupils!


I Bought Some Clippers

Today I bought some clippers in order to shave my head. I haven't done it since I was in grade 8. I will probably look at least as ridiculous now (soon) as I did back then. Which is good, really, as I've been feeling too confident lately, a confidence which is exhibited in the hubris which lies behind believing one's own head to be handsome enough to not require the adornment of hair.
Oh man am I a dink or what?


Black Mountain Side

I heard this new band. They are called "Black Mountain". I know nothing about them. Scott gave me a copy of their album. Mostly a guy sings but sometimes a girl will sing as well. Is their name based on a Zeppelin song? I don't know, maybe. Do they sound like Zeppelin? I don't know, maybe. But they are good. GOOD. I like them so much I almost don't want to learn anymore about them, it might spoil the romance.
Did you know that I have the free gift - Team Zissou toque? Better believe it, y'all.
Adidas is doing this thing now for the 35th anniversary of the shell toe where they are releasing 35 versions of the shoe as designed by varying hip stores throughout the world. I saw a few, number 33, 34, and 35 this weekend. Overall the design is quite fetching, quite, BUT THERE ARE METAL REINFORCMENTS AROUND THE EYELETS! WHY?!? And it's a sort of burnished grey commemorating the anniversary. Okay, I could take the celebration of the 35th year (Coral or Jade Anniversary, who cares?), and the Louis Vuitton-inspired patternwork (done to death). It's such a shame
I must leave you now as I am watching The Party. Ho ho, it looks as if the waiter is drunk!


breaking up is easy to do (i break up everytime i break up with you)

Today Glenn and I are to pick up Glenn's drums from Julia's house. Where we used to be a band.
We were called:
I loved that name.
Maybe I will design it in to a shirt. A shirt of hurt and healing.
And it will have lightening and blood. It will be a Dario Argento movie made in to a shirt. But with fewer bugs and more Goblins.


Fishing with John

"Fishing...with John. Fishing...with John. Fishing...with John."
-my new favorite song
If you ever rent Fishing with John, be sure to listen to his commentary.
Q.: Who is cooler than John Lurie?
A.: Maybe Charles Bronson at the end of Once Upon a Time in the West, but that's probably it (they called him "Harmonica").


Weezer = Spanked

Rob Mitchum, you got it going on. For those of you who don't care to follow the goings-on at Pitchfork Rob Mitchum writes reviews. Reviews of albums and songs.
Sometimes, a review is just so right you can't even pretend to argue.
Rob has done this here. I can't really explain it better than he can. That's what music journalism is fucking about!


Oh Where Have All The Rats In The Cages Gone?

Do you remember the Smashing Pumpkins?
I still have Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness, I do I do. I think I have listened to it maybe thrice. I just never got in to it.
But what I was wondering today, as I was sitting here, I was wondering: What Happened to All Those Kids Who Loved Smashing Pumpkins? I guess they are here. Not that I'll visit, because, like I said earlier, I never really got in to them. But wondering about them reminds me of the innocence lost with the ending of the 1990's.
Also: is "fey" a word that people know? Because I've been using it lately and nobody asks what it means, but there is that flash across their faces, you know, when the face slackens, and you figure they didn't get it, but it's a small word and they don't think it's worthwhile to ask...
Or maybe I am a grammar elitist!


It's good to start things you know you'll give up pretty early on.

I'm pretty adept at stopping doing things. Especially if they are even minorly difficult to maintain. Like this. So, I won't tell anyone that I have it - actually I probably will - and then when I get too lazy and/or unmotivated and/or feel totally boring, I will just give up and sometime this will disappear when someone needs more space on a server for music downloads. And I know they aren't going to buy the album even if they do really like more than two songs, the liars.