I gave Il MattO a high-five last night that was really satisfying in terms of contact and sound. Usually most high-fives seem to fail, due to either inadequate aim or too much of what I call the "skin slap" (the slapping that stings on the very surface of the epidermis and makes a very high-pitched sound). But when you get a good one, that moment becomes like a golden apple of coolness-knowledge, frozen in time, that you can just reach up and pluck from the Tree of Life and look at with fond remembrance of Good Times. A good high-five can give you the same feeling as listening to MF DOOM's "Rapp Snitch Knishes".
So why I need you, the Diagram Artist: let's make a brochure on proper "high-five" technique, complete with diagrams and also a list of occasions that are appropriate and inappropriate for high-fives. Actually let's not make that list, because that is snotty to do and around here, it is always a good time for a high-five. (Plus it would make a good follow-up or preface to the hardcover edition.) (If I had adsense with this blog, do you think there would be juice advertisements?)